RPG Cliché Movie Script

Some friends and I are creating a movie script. Not just any movie script though. It's a movie based on RPG cliches. We would very, very much appreciate any input, comments/suggestions/etc. anyone has on the subject. Please email me at mystic_moonbeam@mac.com with your ideas! Also special thanks to the compilers of the Grand List of Console Role Playing Game Cliches. This list is some of the basic guideline plans for the movie.

Chapter 1
Setting: Sleeping on stairs by mural, night
Props: Spotlight, ragedy blanket
Guest characters: Mother-Ryan
Ro: *Snore* (Sleeping)
Mom: Ro! Wake up dude!
Ro: *Snore*
Mom: Ro! *Kick*
Ro: *Drools*
*Black screen, fighting noises*

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Chapter 2
Setting: Toni’s house, day
Props:
Guest characters:
Ro: *snore* (standing)
Ana: *Slap*
Ro: Cool! (pops awake)
Ana: You… Are eternally weird. For eternity.
Ro: …I’m the hero. Cereal is cool!
Ra: Quick, outside! Something terrible has happened!
Ana: Uh? Who are you exactly?
Ro: Cool! Did somebody die?!
Ra: The city! It’s been destroyed!
Ro: Cool! What could do such a thing?
Ana: You still didn’t answer who you are.
Ra: *pulls out ridiculous license*
Ana: Kylee… uhh kylophomia… ky… er… kokuh…
Ro: It’s Kyleenakazmakimokokopuff
*huge awkward pause*
*all look around*
Ro: Cool! Well my name is… R… R… Ro… I forgot! Cool!
Ana: Speaking of it… I don’t even know your name, but I’m Anastasia
Ra: Now you must go on a ridiculous sidequest to discover your true identity, Ro!
Ro: …Coooool!
Ana: So uh… How bout we just call you, Ra for random. As in random girl.
Ra: uh… Sure. Now make haste young warriors! The fate of the world lies in your hands!
Ro: Cool!
*All dash outside*
Ra: Behold!
*Shows campfire*
*screams of horror*
Ro: Cool! It’s burning!
Ra: Uh no… not that.
Ana: Our beautiful firewood is burning!
Ra: The city is… Gone! Look at the rubbage!
*Shows empty plain*
*zoom on broken glass*
Ana: *cries* Whatever are we to do!
Ra: Look! The house! It’s… Gone! ~cam spins around~
Ro: Cool! Let’s go on a ridiculous quest to get revenge and end up saving the world. Don’t worry! I saw it in a premonition.
Ana: (Show pic of stepping character)
*blur*

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Chapter 3
Setting: PDC- Tank
Props: Weapons
Guests:
Ana: What happened!
Ro: Holy crap! Cool! It’s a tank!
Ra: This is a battle. We must fight this tank to the death, but don’t worry. Your staff, sword, and box of pudding will do ultimate damage.
(Battle stances/Ben runs out with menu and selects attack) (all attack tank) (tank sound) (all fall and get back up) (Ben in black runs in with 1 damage paper) (Ro attacks) (Tank sound- dead) (zoom on elongated victory dance) (Ben with experience window)

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Chapter 4
Setting: Toni’s house
Props:
Guests: Girl- Ryan
Ro: Cool! Where did that tank come from?!
Ra: Random battles. You know, you can’t see ‘em coming.
*girls steals sack of infinite giving and bumps into ana*
Ana: What the hell? Watch where you’re going ya crazy ole hag!
Ra: Hey, she stole my sack of infinite giving! Grab her!
*Girl flees with all chasing*
*Stops and turns*
*In a poof of smoke/flash becomes evil minion (Josh)
Josh: *Maniacal Laughter* I have something you don’t haaave…! (singing) Hehe! *evil look*
*all turn randomly*
Lyle: Hah! Where do you think you’re going?
Ro: Awww… Cool! My first evil villain encoun—
Josh&Lyle: Rawwwrgh! *Charge at Ro*
Ra: Look out!
Ana: *gasp* Oh my god!
Soldier chick: *pushes Ro out of the way* Fool! Watch your back!
Ra: Sister? *Shares glance with soldier*
Soldier: *Turns towards villain in a protective stance to those behind* Run. I’ll take care of these heathens (spoken cooly)
*Ro and Ana hesitate then run*
Ra: But…
Ana: *turns* Ra! Hurry!
Ra: *Hesitates, then turns and picks up sack and runs*
*camera zooms slightly and fades on soldier and villains charging into battle*

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Chapter 5
Setting: Toni’s house- “The bottom”
Props: Model town
Guests:
*all slow, gasping*
Ana: Do you think we’ve gone far enough?
*all turn and look*
*sinister scene, evil music*
Ro: No!
*all run farther, gasping*
*slows*
Ana: Uh, where are we exactly? (Setting: Forest)
Ra: Pull out the world map, duh!
Ro: World map… Cool!
Ana: What’s that?
Ra: This! *Pep band appears* *Puts hand in sack* errr… that’s not it… *swishes hand and world map appears* Here you can view everywhere you’ve visited and even a handy cursor displaying your current location.
Shayla: (prune costume) *runs up* I love you! *Hugs Ana and Ra*
Ra: Ahhhhhhhhhh… Get it off, get it off, get it off. It burns! *Turns around, raisins on face*
*Ro holds up grape*
Ro: Here’s your mommy *eats*
Shayla: ?! Grawweowrewoiruoghfsldjkfshuperoitu$*(^&%&*$^% *attacks Ro*
*Ro kicks off scene in one fluent movement*
Ana: What do we do now then?
*all look in corner at map*
Ro: *points* Cool! A town! Let’s go there!
Ana: Seems like an awfully small town don’t you think? There’s only 2 buildings afterall.
Ra: Nonsense! It’s a bustling city on the inside. In fact, it’s the center of trade on this continent. In fact, it’s the largest of the 4 towns on this continent.
Ro: Seems awfully far away, though. It’s on the other side of the continent.
Ra: Umm, actually it’s right over there… I can see the welcome sign.
*walks in that direction*
*set up model town- walk into it- blurred screen*

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Chapter 6
Setting: Bloomington
Props:peanut butter and raisons
Guests: Linnea, Ryan, Kristina & Jill, Andrew, Lyle, Josh, Jeanie, Katie, Augusta (Shopkeeper, librarian, inn keeper, house/street people)
Ro: Whoa! Cool! The town expanded!
Ana: Gosh… I’m so tired… Let’s find an inn to stay at for the night…
Ra: Be sure to speak to all the towns people. They often will give you some… hints. *wink, wink*
Ro: Cool! *wanders off, wondering*
*Ra and Ana look at each other, shrug, and then leave*
*Ro is wandering around town and spots two girls standing impatiently*
Ro: So, could either of you provide me with some hints?
K&J: Uh, “hints”, sure.
Ro: Cool!
K&J: First, come with us into this alley.
Ro: Okay! *Follows*
*cam watches Ro enter ally then leave almost immediately at a quick pace*
Ro: *Walks out in shock*
K&J: *chases after Ro*What’s wrong?
Ro: That wasn’t the kind of “hint” I was talking about.
K&J: But still! Only 200 gold!
Ro: *leaves hastily*
K&J: *shrug and go back to their “waiting impatiently”*
*encounters girl sitting on a bench*
Ana: Hi there!
Linnea: Hello. Welcome to our town. Are you here to save us?
Ana: Save you from what?
Linnea: From the 4 elemental monsters: fire, water, earth, and wind.
Ana: Sure, but where can I find these monsters?
Linnea: At the River Ridge Ruins.
Ana: Okayyyy. ~I’ve heard of these River Ridge Ruins before… It’s apparently in a remote location and demons inhabit the area.. This could be an adventure!~
Ra: Greetings. Can you point me in the direction of the shop?
(Guard) Andrew: Welcome to Bloomington!
Ra: Right, but where’s the shop?
Andrew: Welcome to Bloomington!
Ra: Yes, yes, you already mentioned that, but where’s the shop?
Andrew: Welcome to Bloomington!
Ra: Whatever… *Walks away*
Andrew: …Welcome to Bloomington!
Ro: (At library) *Tugs at books* Hmm… Why are all these books… stuck?! *Pulls the only free one*… Cool! I got one. Let’s see… “Fire monsters are weak against water spells” and blah blah blah. Hmm… What’s this? “Fire, water, earth, and wind monsters are weak against raisin spells.” For some reason, I think it’ll be helpful to know this for a later battle…
Augusta: Can I help you sir?
Ro: Yes! Would you happen to have a box of raisins with you?
Augusta: Why… No, I don’t.
Ro: Grapes?
Augusta: Afraid not…
Ro: Anything delicious?
Augusta: No… but I DO have a book entitled “yummy foods and their uses!”. Unfortunately the programmers never bothered to code text or actions for the book so.. it’s pretty much useless…
Ro: Aww…… *Disappointed* Maybe I’ll find some hidden in a vase some where. Yes! That’s the perfect location to conceal raisons! Devious, devious.. *Exits*
Ana: Oooh what a beautiful building! *enters monk emporium*
Ana: *wanders around and approaches Josh who is calmly watching Lyle practice*
Ana: Hi there!
Josh: Welcome to the monk emporium. Would you like to learn how to use magic?
Ana: Uh.. no not really.
Josh: *turns back and continues watching Lyle*
Ana: Um.. Hello? Helloooo? *pokes*
Josh: Would you like to learn how to use magic?
Ana: Awfully pushy aren’t we? Sure why not.
*blurs and battle begins between Josh and Lyle and Ana*
Ana: Whoa! I don’t wanna fight you guys!
Josh: To use magic, select your preferred spell from the magic section of the main menu. Like this. *”pretty” moves and a spell ensues*
Ana: Noooo! Ugh! *is defeated*
*battle ends*
Ana: Oh my god! *panics* My wounds! *touches self* *gasping* Where are my wounds?!
Josh: Feel free to battle me any time. *goes back to watching lyle*
Ana: *Runs from the building*
Jeanie: (At shop) Hi! Welcome to the alchemy stop! It’s the place to shop!
Ra: Hey.. yea.. I’d like to buy some potions.
Jeanie: What kind would you like?
Ra: I’ll take 4 hi-potions please.
Jeanie: You don’t have enough gold for that!
Ra: What? Yes I do.
Jeanie: You don’t have enough gold for that!
Ra: You lie. I do have enough!
Jeanie: You don’t have enough gold for that!
Ra: *peers into bag* ~Huh.. Only 1600 gold. I was sure I had 2100. How did she know? And what’s with these people?! “Hello, welcome to Bloomington.”this, and “You don’t have enough gold for that!” that. You’d think they only know a few words.*shifty eyes*~
Ra: Uh.. I’ll take 3 hi-potions then.
Jeanie: That’ll be 1500 gold.
Ra: *hands money*
Jeanie: Here you are. *Pulls out 3 Mountain Dews* Thank you and come again to the alchemy stop! It’s the place to shop!
Ra: *raises eyebrow and heads toward door* *turns back to shopkeeper*
Ra: Could you direct me to the inn?
Jeanie: Hi! Welcome to the alchemy stop! It’s the place to shop!
Ra: Err… no, the inn, where can I fi—
Jeanie: You don’t have enough gold for that!
Ra: *sighs and exits*
Ro: Hmmm…. Where to find a vase *peers in windows* By a bed… Oh! Cool! I got it! The inn!
Ra: God I can’t wait to take a nap. It’ll cure this vile raisonitis I developed from that creepy prune…
Ana: Ooooooh shinies!!! *follows trail of hershey’s kisses*
*All meet each other at inn entrance*
*all enter*
Katie: Welcome to Bloomington Beds and Balloons!
Ana: Shinies! *chases balloons*
Ra: Um…
Katie: Bahahahah what happened to your face!
Ra: … *Walks away.*
Ro: *looks around* Cool place! We’d like to stay the night!
Katie: That’ll be…*calculates * zero gold please.
Ro: What? We don’t have to pay?
Katie: Huh, apparently not.. you best be careful travelers. Weird people go creepin’ around the town at night. You never know when you’ll wake up in the night, peer out the window and see a… *scene fades (with happy sleeping music?) before she can finish*
Lyle and Josh: *mumble mumble*
Ra: *gasp * *looks about straining to hear* *peers out window
Josh: But why not murder them now?! While they’re in their sleep?! They won’t make a fuss. One quick clean spell and they’re doomed!
Lyle: No! We mustn’t kill them yet!
Josh: It’s stupid to wait ‘till they wake and have the opportunity to escape!
Lyle: Nonsense! Why would I wait only until they wait?! We shall toy with them for many months until, possibly until they reach level 99. And then, THEN, we shall move in for the final kill. A foolish minion you are.
Josh: You are officially the dullest oaf I have ever set eyes on…
*Josh and Lyle look towards window, camera behind them to see both them and into the window* *Ra hand clasped over mouth*
Lyle: Mwahahah beware young heroes! Don’t turn your backs!
Josh: But don’t worry, we won’t destroy for a loooong time. *rolls eyes* *Lyle jabs Josh* *they flee in opposite directions –OR- disappear in a poof*
*camera back inside*
Ra:*gasps and stumbles backwards*
Ana: *awakes* Ra! What’s wrong? *goes to comfort*
Ra: I swear I just saw…*evil music* .. a squirrel eating a beaver.
Ana: *gasp* Did you see anything else?
Ra: *shakes head* Nothing. A squirrel devouring a beaver. How ridiculous. I must have been hallucinating.
Ana: I… certainly hope so. What is the world coming to…
Ro: *falls out bed* Oww…. *snore*
*Ana and Ra turn to stare then return to sleep*
*more sleeping/waking up music-ish* *Screen fades in with characters standing next to beds*
Ro: *Starts digging in vase*…*holds box of raisins above head* *Text Box Appears* Found key item: Raisins*… *cool sounds*
Ana: Plays with balloon while eating leftover hershey kisses
Ra: Alright guys. Let’s go! *screen fades and everyone reappears outside*
Ro: Cool!… Teleportation.
Ra: Okay, according to Ana, we need to go to the River Ridge Ruins.
Ro: Cool… But why?
Ra: I dunno… Something about elemental beasts, magical orbs, the fate of the world. You know the drill.
Ro: Cool, but how are we gonna get there?
Ana: I believe it would efficient for us to take a moving vehicle of some sort.
Ro: Let’s take an airship! Airships are cool!
Ra: There are no airships in this town. We’ll need to use a local mode of transportation for now.
Ana: And what mode would that be?
*all fall into deep thought* *camera shows a bunch of cars sitting around the town*
Ra: I’ve got it! We’ll take a car!
Ana: But we don’t have a car or enough money to buy one.
Ra: Hmm… That could be a problem.
Ro: *Opens door to random car* Cool. A free car.
Ana: Ro! You can’t just go and take another person’s car! Walking into their house and taking stuff that’s locked up in a chest is perfectly legal, but taking their car is against the law.
Ro: *starts car* *music starts* iPod. *grins* Cool music too!
*Ra and Ana look at each other, shrug, and then get in the car and speed off toward the River Ridge Ruins*

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Chapter 7
Setting:
Guests:
Props:
*camera follows car as it pulls into the parking lot through the do not enter road, catches a glimpse of the car and do not enter sign, then movies on to show the building. Long enough to have some kind of music.*
*Party runs up to the school*
Ro: Whoooaaaa.. it’s enormous.
Ra: Hmm.. indeed. Its much larger than I expected.
Ana: What a dump too. This place is falling apart. People actually used to come to this place?
Ra: Yes. It was once very popular. Or very…unpopular perhaps. Hopefully we won’t encounter any unpleasant spirits. There’s no telling what we’ll encounter inside.
*party nods at each other simultaneously, does Power Ranger moves, and transforms**mighty morphin’ power ranger music plays*
All: It’s morphin’ time!
Ana: Pink!
Ra: Black!
Ro: Orange! And slightly puke greenish color!
*poses for a moment then…*
Ro: Let’s go!
*Ro and Ra charge into building*
Ana: What? Where are we going? Does this involves goodies? *looks around confused then follows*

*screen fades in with party in normal clothes again*
Ana: Uck, seriously this place is incredibly trashy. *walks and steps in something red* Ewwww!!!!! Oh my god I think I just stepped in blood! Ewww ewwww ewwww, I need to go freshen up! Where’s the bathroom?! *panicked*
Ro: Uhh.. Anastasia dear.. I don’t think you’re going to find a bathroom in some crappy ol’—
Ana: Hehe! There’s one! *runs in*
Ra: …Unusual girl. *bends down* *pulls out magnifying glass* *raises eyebrow* *gets closer* *magnifies more* *gets even closer* *sniffs* *scrunches face* *sticks finger in and tastes it the looks up at Ro with evil look*
Ro: *Backs away* You’re….you’re a vampire!
Ra: Actually it’s habanero (hah-bah-NAIR-oh) sauce.
Alisha, Haylee, Andrew, Ryan, Austin, Josh, Lyle, Katie, Jeanie: Mexican party fiesta!! Arrrrrraaah! (rolling “rr” sound) *all dance around Ro and Ra*
Ana: *comes out of bathroom and sees dancing people* *screams* Sombreros! *runs back inside*
*Guests dance away*
Ro: *Bends down and tastes it* What does this mean?
Ra: Habenero sauce can mean only one thing…Micheal Jackson is your father.
Ro: *girly scream*
Ra: Just kidding.
Ro: Oh thank god.
Ra: Actually I’m not.
Ro: What?!
Ra: Hahah, sike!
Ro: *huge sigh of relief*
Ra: But seriously.
Ro: *begins to weep*
Ana: *Walks out of bathroom*
Ra: Habenaro sauce can mean a 2nd thing as well…… There’s a Mexican grill ahead.
Ana: There’s a Mexican gorilla head?! *screams and runs backs in*
Ro and Ra: *nod at each then head forward*
*picture begins fading while watching Ro and Ra walk off from behind*
Ana: Hey? Hey guys? Guys.. *looks around*
*Camera turns and jumps back cuz Ana is right there*
Ana: Er, excuse me have you seen Ro and Ra?
Ben: *points finger down hall*
Ana: Thanks! *runs off*

*shows party walking* *suddenly tons of people appear* *camera chaotic* *party runs into music room and slams door gasping*
Ana: Where did they all come from?!
Ro: Hehe, cool, ghosts.
Ra: We must make haste. The demons and spirits are growing hungry. They need to feed…
*walks further in and peers around music room*
Ana: Look at all these ancient artifacts…*pokes at chair*
Ro: Ewww… what is it.
*Ana and Ro begin fighting over and discussing what the chair could be in the background*
Ra: *Looks at Ro and Ana in disgust and walks around curiously*
*Cam follows Ra*
Ra: *Notices a shadow* *gasp* What was that? *mumbles to self* *Runs toward back doors, presses ear to door, and carefully listens* *peeks through the door* *as Ra begins to open in cam goes back to Ro and Ana*
Ro: It can’t be a boat! How are you suppose float on this thing?!
Ana: Uhh.. Ro? I think Ra just left.
Ro: She what?! Quick! After her!
*cam watches Ro and Ana dash towards door**cam now at Ro coming out of girls locker room doors*
*cam standing on stage stairs so you don’t see those stairs**Ra runs out into gym disappointed*
Ra: Argh! I’m sure I saw her.. Why does she flee from me.. *turns slowly to see the stage with an alter and the stones* *gasps*
*Ana and Ro come running in*
Ana: Ra! Are you alright?
Ra: *points slowly at the alter* There. Do you see that?
*Ro and Ana turn slowly and look*
Ro: It looks like an alter of some sort. Coool...
Ana: Alters are always important... Let’s go check it out!
*party runs up stairs by the boys locker room* *cam stays in gym and watches them go*
*party gathers around alter and stares in silence for a bit* *cam comes up to the alter, zooms on stones*
*Ana sees big tag and reads it*
Ana: *reads in a wondering voice* The fate of the world lies here on this alter. Go forth on a great quest warriors. Deliver these stones to their rightful alter in order to preserve the world for a thousand more years!
Copyright, Microsoft
*party looks at each other perplexed*
*cam shows Lyle and Josh in midair* *cam shows Lyle and Josh in landing position*
*Lyle and Josh stand and pose in their evil pose*
*party looks back and gasps*
*Ro and Ana run and jump off the stage while Ra scurries to put stones in sack of infinite giving.*
*as soon as Ra begins to run and jump off stage the Lyle and Josh pursue*
*cam comes back into gym, is behind Ro and Ana who are in fighting stance*
*Ra runs to the group and takes center and assumes fighting stance*
*Lyle and Josh run towards party, screen blurs and battle starts*

Josh: So.. we meet again! This time you won’t escape so lucky!
Lyle: Hand over the stones so we can pound your asses!
Ro: Hah, who do you think we are?
Ana: As though we’d give them up to you.
Josh: Do you even know the significance of the stones?
Ra: (Darkly) We found them and you can’t have them..
Lyle: Then prepare to die.
*party runs up for cooperative attack, attack useless, party flies back to spot groaning*
*Josh and Lyle power up super cool attack*
*Ro and Ana fight the winds but are blown from the battle*
*Ra withstands it*
*choreographed battle between Lyle, Josh, and Ra*
*Ra is defeated*

*screen goes out of battle mode so you can see Ro and Ana again, lying on the ground*
*bag falls and stones fall out*
*Lyle wanders up and picks up stones while Josh pokes Ra with foot curiously*
*party is sitting up by now, but still in pain*
*Lyle twiddles stones in hand*
Lyle: You see these stones? These hold the key to the survival of the world. They also hold the key to the destruction of the world. But in terms you lame-o’s would understand: these are the world.
Josh: Yea! The fate of the world is in our hands!
Lyle: ...Technically in my hand.
*awkward pause*
Josh and Lyle: (randomly) Maniacal laughter! *repeat, repeat...*
Director: What.... hey.. hey! What the hell are you doing?
Josh: Huh? The script says maniacal laughter.
Director (Banana chair): What? Are you stupid? You’re supposed to actually LAUGH. Not say “Maniacal laughter”.
Lyle: Asterisks stand for an action. There were no asterisks in the script.
Director: *stomps into scene with script* There are too! Look right there.
Josh: You’re full of shit
*Josh, Lyle, Director gather around script and mumble in low voices*
Lyle: Well ... okay fine. You’re right.
Josh: *looks around nervous and embarrassed*
Lyle: *stomping back off set* God damn.. actors these days... can’t do a damn thing *mumble*
*hears director sitting back in squeaky chair*
Director: Alright everyone... Ready? Aaaaaaand... action! *click*
Josh and Lyle: *Maniacal laughter* *walk around downed heroes*
Ana *cringes* Oh, please don’t kill us!
Lyle: *complete surprise* What? Kill you?! Why would we do that
Ro: Well um... maybe because we’re laying here, wounded, at your mercy, and if you were to let us go we’d just continue being a nuisance for the rest of your days?
Lyle: Nonsense! *Josh nods frantically* We’re going to spread these stones to the four corners
Josh: Four corners!
Lyle: of the world and allow you to escape unharmed
Josh: Unharmed!
Lyle: so you can go on a ridiculous quest to retrieve them before we do
Josh: Ridiculous quest!
in order to save the world from us evil villains.
Josh: EVIL MONKEYS!
Ra: .. Isn’t that kind of a huge waste of time? Wouldn’t you rather be doing better things like slaughtering men, raping women, and tormenting kids?
Lyle: You kids are WEIRD!
Lyle and Josh: Bwahahahhahah!!!
*flashes of light as the stones escape and the villains disappear*
*party drags themselves to feet and joins in a circle*
*cam spins around circle of people zoomed on faces of them as they talk*
Ana: What do we do now?
Ro: Well isn’t it obvious?
Ra: We have to retrieve the stones.
Ana: But isn’t that dangerous?
Ro: We’re heroes. That’s...
Ra: Just what heroes do.
Ana: Evil monkeys.
Ro: The fate of the world
Ra: Lies in our hands
Ana: really like
Ro: Let’s go forth!
Ra: To save the world!
Ana: Purple bananas!
Everyone: YEA!
*all join hands and move away from camera while spinning in circles*
*camera unzooms on their faces and watches them spin away.

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